


Unsteady

by icequeen57



Series: Home is Where You Make It [1]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Himbo, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Nick Has PTSD, Nick needs a Hug, Nick-centric (Julie and The Phantoms), Panic Attacks, Post-Possession, Psychological Trauma, Reggie Needs a Hug (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie is a Good Friend, Reggie is smart, protective reggie, soft reggie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:22:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27320407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icequeen57/pseuds/icequeen57
Summary: Nick is losing his mind. It's like he spent the last few weeks in a fog, and he can't do it anymore. So now he sits on the Roof trying to feel something. It's on the roof he meets someone that makes him feel human again.Nick doesn't know that he was possessed and has no idea what's going on, maybe Reggie can help.
Relationships: Julie Molina & Nick, Nick & Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms)
Series: Home is Where You Make It [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002825
Comments: 5
Kudos: 169





	Unsteady

Nick’s life was spiraling out of control. He spent the last few weeks in a fog. He didn't know what was going on, or why it was happening. He got kicked out of the music program, and he was close to failing some of his classes. His parents just thought that he’d tried to do too much and he was burning out. Maybe he was, but that didn't explain the rest of it. They didn't listen to him when he said that there was something wrong. 

That was how Nick ended up on the top of the school. He wasn't gonna do anything, he thinks to himself, but the idea was nice. Nick was sitting near the edge, just looking. He knew the fall wouldn’t kill him, if he did fall, but it made him feel in control. 

Nick didn't react when he heard footsteps behind him, he didn't care. The next thing he knew, someone was sitting next to him. A boy in a leather jacket. Correction, a cute boy in a leather jacket. Nick looked at him out of the corner of his eye, but the boy didn't seem to notice. The boy looked familiar, but Nick couldn't place where. Then the boy began to speak. 

“I know what it’s like. To be alone in a crowd of people, to have people see you, but not _see_ you. It sucks, and I know,” the boy trailed off. Nick was surprised that this guy was even talking to him. It seemed like lately no one wanted anything to do with him. His friends didn't understand him, his parents were more aloof than they normally were, his sister didn't want anything to do with him. 

“I’m not gonna do it, if that’s what you're worried about.”

The boy stiffened, almost like he didn't expect Nick to say anything, or even acknowledge that he was there. The boy smiled, but it was a weird smile. It didn't reach the boy’s eyes. “Okay. Just know something, Dying isn't worth it if you didn't live in the first place. Especially if it’s by hot dogs from someone’s trunk. ” 

What an odd thing to say, Nick thought. For the first time since he came out of the fog, Nick laughed. It was manic and crazy, and Nick couldn't stop. Soon the boy laughed with him. It was nice. 

The sun was setting when Nick had to leave. He was meant to be watching his sister, not that she wanted him around. Nick said goodbye to the boy, feeling more like himself than he had in awhile. “Can I see you again?” Nick felt ridiculous asking, like he was in an old romance novel. He needed to ask though. 

The boy smiled. “Meet me here tomorrow.” Nick nodded and left. It wasn't until he got home that he realized he didn't have a name for the boy. Nick was a little preoccupied. He also realized he didn't get the boy's number. Shit. 

* * *

The next day seemed to drag. Nick tried to distract himself from the waiting by focusing on class. It wasn't working.

Soon enough he was on his way to the roof. Nick looked around, but didn't see the boy. He felt something in his chest tighten. He was a fool, he never should have, a sound cut off Nick’s thought. Oh.

The boy was sitting off to the side, in his leather jacket and a flannel. He looked really pretty in the sunlight. The boy was smiling at him, and Nick felt his face heat up. He felt guilty for thinking the worst.

“Hey,” the boy said, “I was wondering if you were gonna show. Then I remembered that we didn't set a time.” He walked over to Nick, and Nick noticed something. This boy, this really pretty boy, was not as suave as Nick had remembered. He was just genuine. He was happy, and comfortable. He wasn't cocky or over confident, there was no bravado. Just the boy. Nick smiled at the boy.

“Sorry, I kinda ran out yesterday.”

“Nah man, you’re good. Wasn't your fault.” By this time, the boy was right in front of Nick. It was nice, someone actually willing to be near him. “Wanna sit?” Nick nodded, looking for a spot, when the boy just dropped onto the ground, well floor, roof? Nick couldn’t tell what the right word would be. Nick felt himself laugh and sat down across from the boy. This was a better angle from yesterday, because now he could really look at the boy. He had really pretty eyes. Nick blinked, he needed to get ahold of himself, or else this would end badly. He hadn't spent long with the boy, but he didn't want to lose it. “Anything you want to talk about?”

Nick thought for a moment. There were a lot of things he wanted to talk about, but he was afraid to say something that would scare the boy away. “I mean not really. I like music. You?”

That set the boy off. The next thing Nick knew the boy was talking about everything music: to what he listened to, to what he played, to anything in between. Nick could feel himself smile, he could listen to this boy go on forever. It was a little concerning how gone Nick was for a boy he had just met, but he didn't care enough to stop. Nick didn't know how much time had passed when the boy looked at him rather sheepishly. “Sorry I tend to ramble. you should have told me to stop talking.”

Nick furrowed his brow, “No, this was good, I mean, you were good, I mean,” Nick took a breath. “I liked listening to you talk.” Nick immediately regretted saying that. It was too much, too soon.

The boy smiled at Nick. “Thank you. Really though, tell me something about you, please?”

Nick smiled. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything.”

Nick found it hard to start talking. He was encouraged by the boy’s smile, and just talked. Most of it wasn't of substance, just basic stuff. He had a sister, he liked lacrosse, and he liked to play guitar. All things anyone would know. The boy made the occasional hum, but otherwise let Nick talk. Nick didn't realize how long they were talking until he felt his phone vibrate. He had to get home soon.

The boy noticed, “Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow.”

Then Nick left.

Almost everyday since Nick would go up to the roof after school, and just sit and talk to the boy. Eventually Nick got a name for the boy, Reggie. “Reggie,” the name rolled off Nick’s tongue, it was pleasant. The b-, Reggie, smiled when Nick said his name.

They mostly followed the same routine, Reggie starting the conversation, then prying details out of Nick. Nick didn't believe that Reggie even did it on purpose, he would just listen to whatever Nick said. Nick ran out of things to talk about once. “I mean the only thing I really have left to talk about is how much I suck at math right now. I mean unless you can do differential equations,” Nick trailed off with a laugh. He was only mostly joking.

“Fuck yeah, Math. Lay it on me.” Reggie actually seemed excited. Nick was not prepared for that. Most people he knew hated math, and would not do it unless they had to, but Reggie continued to surprise him. Nick smiled. That's what they did for the next hour. They sat there just doing math, and Nick just felt content.

Their routine changed to Nick bringing his homework to work on; Reggie was more amused by it than anything else. Nick liked the way Reggie said things. They made sense when Reggie said them.

But all good things have to end.

Nick was sitting in the cafeteria, counting down the minutes until school ended when he saw him. It was a flash of purple, the guy in the top hat was there. Nick could feel the panic swell in his chest, he didn't know what was going on. He knew that face, it haunted his dreams. That face was the last clear memory before the fog.

He stood up and all but ran out of there. Oh god he was hallucinating. He stumbled out the doors, through the lunch crowd, to the roof.

When he got there he collapsed. His knees gave out, and he couldn't breathe. He didn't know how long he was there, when he heard his name. Reggie.

Nick looked up to see Reggie staring at him with worry and alarm in his eyes. “I saw him.” Nick knew he wasn't making any sense, but he didn't care. He needed to get the words out. Nick was terrified.

It took a while for Nick to say anything else, and what did come out of his mouth wasn't comprehendible. Reggie being there helped Nick remember this was real. This was now. He took a deep breath, and looked at Reggie. Reggie who was his friend, his person. “He was in the cafeteria.”

“Who was?” Nick didn't know how Reggie could sound so calm, or not really sound calm, but make Nick feel calm.

“The man. He was purple and he had that top hat. I don't know who he is, but he was there,” nothing Nick was saying was right.

“Nick,” Nick groaned. He knew that tone.

“Please, I don't know what's happening. I saw him, but he shouldn't be real. He was a nightmare from before. I don't know what's going on and I'm losing it!” Nick didn't mean to start shouting.

Reggie flinched. “Nick, you need to breathe, okay?” Nick didn't even know he had begun to hyperventilate. Staring into Reggie’s eyes, he began to calm down. If Reggie was telling him to breathe then he had to breathe. Nick could feel the tears running down his face, and he felt like a mess. He felt like he was acting like a child. Like he was being a spoiled brat over nothing. Nick was pulled out of his head when he heard Reggie say something.

“What?”

“Do you trust me?”

What a stupid question to ask, “Yes.” Reggie was the only person he trusted right now.

Reggie closed his eyes, then blinked rapidly. “I think I know someone who can help.”

Help, help what. Help that Nick was losing his mind. Nick thought it was stupid and useless, but if Reggie suggested it, “Okay.” Nick was still breathless.

“Okay, will you be okay if I leave for a minute, I promise I will come back. I will come back.” Nick felt the panic again, no that wasn't good. He would be alone and then what? Reggie smiled at Nick, the same smile he gave Nick when they finished a math problem together, or when they would talk about music. “Hey, hey, Nick? Can you say that for me, that I'll come back? I know you can.”

Nick was still hesitating. “You’ll come back?” Saying it out loud made it more real. “You’ll come back.”

“That’s right, I’m coming back. Can you stay here until I do?”

“Stay. I’ll stay here. You’re coming back.”

Nick closed his eyes and when he opened them Reggie was gone. Nick shut his eyes again, tightly. Reggie was coming back. In the weeks Nick had known him, Reggie had never lied to him.

Nick didn't know how much time had passed when he heard the door to the roof open. He saw Reggie standing there with Julie. What, why would he bring Julie. Then he realized why the boy had seemed so familiar all those weeks ago, he was the basest in Julie’s band. Funny, Reggie mentioned he was in a band, but he never said it was Julie’s band.

Julie walked over to Nick like he was a frightened animal. He felt sick to his stomach. Is this what he was now?

While Julie walked over slowly, Reggie marched over like usual. Like this was a normal afternoon and they were just gonna do math homework and bitch about how bad Shakespeare was. Like really, why did he have so much hype. It was nice having Reggie plopped down beside him. Despite the distance, it grounded Nick. It felt normal. 

Julie knelt in front of Nick. Nick then noticed other people on the roof. Nick recognized Flynn, Julie’s other 2 bandmates, and someone else that he’d never seen before. Nick’s attention was brought back to Julie when she touched his hand. “We need to talk.” Nick didn't want to, but he really didn't have a choice.

Flynn came over to him and they somehow managed to get him off the roof, out of the school and to Julie’s house. Nick couldn't tell you how he got there, but he really didn't care. He knew he could trust Julie, Reggie wouldn't have gotten her if he couldn't trust her. They put him on the couch, and he suddenly felt incredibly out of it. The rest of them were talking in hushed tones and Nick got lost in his head.

He woke up to someone stroking his hair. It was nice. He shifted and the hand left. He whined in disappointment. He focused his eyes and saw that he was still on the couch. He felt warm for the first time in a while. It was nice.

“Hey, Nick, can you hear me?” Nick recognized Julie’s voice and nodded. He didn't know what was going on, but he felt better than he normally did. “Will you drink this?” What? Nick heard her, but did not process what she was saying. He shook his head.

Another voice cut in from beside him. “Please, Nicky. It’s water. It’ll make you feel better.” Reggie had never called him Nicky before. Nick liked it. Nick reached for the glass, almost like he was on autopilot. Reggie was right, Nick didn't know how much he needed the water until he finished it. He definitely felt more awake now. Reggie took the glass from him and set it on the floor beside his foot. 

Nick saw that everyone in the room was looking at him, like he was a threat. What? Well everyone except Reggie and Julie. He didn't know what was going on. Nick’s attention was drawn back to Julie. “Have you ever heard of a man named Caleb Covington?”

Who?

* * *

Nick was reeling. Ghosts were real and one possessed him. He was the reason for the lost time, the reason he felt like he was losing his mind. Nick could feel his chest tightening. He thought he was gonna be sick. Well that explained why everyone was pissed at him. When he was possessed, he was a real dick. Or well, the ghost was a dick. Nick had a hard time trying to wrap his head around all this. The only thing that kept him from bolting out the door was how sincere Julie sounded. He knew she wouldn't try and trick him, she wasn't like that. It explained everything, after all.

Nick could still feel the panic rise in his chest. It was suffocating. “Hey, kid, I think you’re having a panic attack.” It was the first time the singer had done anything other than glare at him since he saw him.

The blond guy elbowed him in the ribs, and whispered a harsh “Dude.” 

Reggie moved into his line of sight. “Do not go gentle into that good night, old age should burn and rave at close of day; rage, rage against the dying of the light.” Reggie paused, seeing he had Nick’s attention. “Though wise men at their end know dark is right, because their words had forked no lightning they do not go gentle into that good night. Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”

Nick knew that poem. He had bitched about it so much to Reggie. He had to read it for English, and he hated it. He didn't want to find the hidden meaning in the poem. He thought it was too wordy, too repetitive. Reggie, though, the way he talked about it. When he said it, with passion and understanding, Nick could almost believe he himself understood. “Wild men,” Nick started. It was choppy and Nick barely remembered the words. ”Who caught and sang the sun in flight, curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears I pray. Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”

Nick knew he got the words wrong, but he didn't care. Despite how much Reggie loved the poem, he didn't seem mad about Nick messing it up. At least now Nick felt like he could breathe. Like a weight had been lifted off his chest.

“So,” Flynn spoke up. The bubble around Nick and Reggie popped and they looked at her. “What just happened?”

Julie looked at her, then stood up. The singer guy was next to her in an instant. Literally, it was like he teleported. Flynn didn't seem to notice him. “Reggie’s helping.” That was an understatement.

“How can he even see Reggie?”

What? Why wouldn't he be able to see Reggie? Nick looked at Reggie and he looked guilty. It hit Nick. “You’re a ghost.”

“Nick, I’m sorry I didn't tell you. I just I,” he trailed off. “I’m still me.”

You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. Nick looked around the room, Flynn looked guilty, the singer guy was flicking his eyes between them and Julie. Julie looked like she was gonna have to defuse a bomb. The blond one was dragging his hands down his face, and the guy next to him with the long hair looked ready to run. “Are all of you ghosts?” This all felt too surreal.

The boys looked at each other and then at Julie. She seemed to be in charge of them. “The guys are, but they're good ghosts. Look Nick I know this is a lot and you’ve been through a lot, but we aren't gonna hurt you, okay?”

“Why me?” They didn't have an answer. Nick felt numb. He looked at Reggie, who looked like a kicked puppy. Nick could see the unshed tears in his eyes. “Can I talk to you,” he scanned the room, “Alone?”

Reggie didn't answer, but Julie started shuffling people out of the room. With the help of the blonde guy everyone was out in less than a minute. At some point Reggie had shifted, putting distance between him and Nick. Nick took a deep breath.

This was Reggie, Reggie who he had only known for a month and a half or so. Reggie who made him feel a little less crazy. Reggie. “Why did you talk to me that day?”

“What? Well I um. You see, I,” Reggie didn't know what to say. In hindsight the truth sounded like a lie.

“Reg-”

“You looked sad. I didn't think you’d even be able to see me, but I thought I could keep you company anyway. That’s a thing I do, hang out with lifers, normally ones that can’t see me. I don't know. It, um, makes death a little less lonely. I know that sounds insane, but I talk and the people who can hear me get tired of me talking and then I feel bad for talking at them. If they can't tune me out they get annoyed at me. So I was just gonna talk to you, I swear, nothing creepy. I know that look, the one you had. Like you were there, but not really, and like you could disappear and no one would care. But like they would care, but they would just get over it, because you're not that important to them. And that feeling like you’re not important burns more than death and now i’m rambling and you should tell me to shut up and,” if Reggie stopped talking he was gonna start crying.

Nick looked at Reggie. Just stared at him not saying anything. “So you didn't know I had been possessed?”

“What, no, Nicky I swear I didn't know. I thought you were going through something, but I never imagined that. I didn't know until Willie told us a few days ago. I was gonna tell you what happened, but I didn't know how, and then you saw him and believe me I wanted to do this better, and I’m sorry you found out like this. And,” Nick grabbed Reggie’s hand. Reggie froze, stiffen.

Nick only wanted to get Reggie’s attention, not scare the boy. He moved to pull his hand away when he felt Reggie hold his hand so tightly. Nick looks Reggie in the eyes, like he used to on the roof when he was reciting something for his English class. “I believe you.”

Nick launches himself into Reggie’s arms and buries his head in Reggie’s shoulder, for a ghost, he sure was warm. Reggie wrapped his arms around Nick tightly. Nick fell asleep like that. Reggie didn't dare move a mussel, even when the rest walked back into the studio to check on them. Reggie immediately shot them a glare as soon as he saw Luke start to snicker. As soon as Julie saw she smiled. She softly told him that Nick would have to go home at some point, it was getting late.

As if on cue, Nick’s alarm went off. It was the alarm that reminded him to get his sister from practice. For the first time in a really long time, Nick woke up feeling rested. He liked the feeling. Then he realized he was still in Reggie’s arms, surrounded by a bunch of people, well ghosts, well Nick didn't really know anymore, that he didn't know. He didn’t like that, at all. Nick reached in his pocket, the front one for fucks sake. It took a bit of maneuvering, but he was able to shut it off. Reggie helped Nick stand up, then offered to walk him home. Fuck, home. Fuck, “Rayla!”

“Who’s Raya?” the singer boy snarked.

“Shit shit shit. She’s gonna be so pissed. What time is it, I have to pick her up from dance.”

Reggie chuckled, “Nick, it’s Friday, she's going to that sleepover tonight.” Oh thank god for Reggie. Nick could feel his heartbeat slow down.

That was good because looking at him, Julie thought he was gonna have a heart attack. “Rayla’s your sister right?”

“Yeah. She’d kill me if I left her after practice. Hell my mom would kill me for forgetting her. I think he did once. Well more than once probably, if her hating me is anything to go by.” Nick saw everyone wince, “Sorry I shouldn't have said that.”

“You don't have to apologize. He’s a dick.” That was the first time he’d heard the boy with the hair speak. Huh.

“Sorry, you probably told me your name, but I didn't process it, what was it?”

“Oh, I’m Willie.”

Nick looked at the blond boy next to him. He looked confused, but he heard Reggie. “That’s Alex. And that,” He gestured to the singer, “Is Luke. Don't worry he may seem grumpy but he’s just jealous that Julie used to have a crush on you.”

“Dude!”

Reggie just laughed. Nick smiled. He was gonna be okay. 

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
